The Ultimate Book Tag

Yo nerds. I was tagged by the beautiful Danielle to do The Ultimate Book Tag. Thank you. When you read ‘The Ultimate Book Tag’, you must read it an epic voice over style. Y’know the kind, like that guy from The X Factor. Go back and do it properly… Done? Cool. Now, be sure to check out Danielle’s answers. On with the tag!

1. Do you get sick while reading in the car?
I rarely get in cars. I don’t like them. I maybe only get in a car once every couple of months or so. I don’t get sick when I read in them though, no.

2. Which author’s writing style is completely unique to you and why?
Wow, that’s a real tough question. OK, I’ve taken a few minutes or so to think about this and a little known indie author comes to mind. Dave Johnston. He wrote a book called The Lot of a Nobody. It’s really good. He manages to balance sincerity, drama and heartwarming moments with wacky, sarcastic and outright hilarious humour. I really enjoyed his writing style. He has written some of the best dialogue I’ve ever read. His book is a quick, easy and highly entertaining read, and I recommend people pick it up.

3. Harry Potter Series or the Twilight Saga? Give 3 points to defend your answer.
OK, so here we have a minor problem. That being that I have not read any of the Twilight books, and I have only read the first Harry Potter book. Keeping in the spirit of answering the question though, I will pick The Twilight Saga. Because Saga is a better word than Series.

I have learnt during my time as a book blogger, that there are certain phrases you can use that are always relevant to any book series. It’s like horoscopes. Stay vague, and people will put their own meaning to what you say, and then give you credit for being so insightful. On a completely unrelated note, *shifty eyes* here are my arguments for why I love the Twilight Saga so much omg you don’t even know:

1) There was that scene, I won’t mention which one because I don’t want to give spoilers – I’m sure you know which one I mean though – and it just changed the whole dynamic of the group. I was starting to get bored with the same old thing but that moment really refreshed the story and kept me engaged.
2) The love story was really unique. It was nice to read a love story that wasn’t so cliche and bland. I felt the deep complexities explored by the author really did reflect how love works in the real world.
3) The books are much better than the movies. In the books, the characters are developed much more and I really feel that I got to know them better. There are scenes in the books that were cut out of the movie and I think that really damages the overall flow of the story. Those scenes were vital to the development of characters and helped explain why certain characters did what they did (you know which bits I’m talking about). As a true Twilight fan, I feel the movies just commercialised the story and ended up dumbing it down for the masses. They ruined the story. If you are super intelligent like me and read the books, you can get so much more from it.

Bonus argument the first) On the surface this story appears to be a simple retelling of Romeo and Juliet set in a fantasy world of zombies and mermaids, but if you are as pretentious intelligent as me, you can read between the lines and see that the author has created something new and unique whilst remaining true to the classics that came before.
Bonus argument the second) #TeamEthan amiright?! Phwoar.

4. Do you carry a book bag? If so, what is in it (besides books…)?
I do not know what a book bag is. I carry a backpack that is mostly empty except a notebook, a pen, and some painkillers. I rarely take painkillers, but I’ve found that working with a lot of women, people often ask ‘Does anyone have any painkillers on them?’ and I like to be able to help. I’m just such a knight in shining armour like that, ya see.

5. Do you smell your books?
What the actual fuck?

6. Books with or without little illustrations?
WITH. Even better, books with big illustrations. Lots of illustrations. Like, at least one illustration on each page.

Graphic Novels. I’m talking about Graphic Novels.

7. What book did you love while reading but discovered later it wasn’t quality writing?
The books I’ve written…

I jk, I write amazing books. I think probably 50 Shades of Grey. At the time I just felt there was nothing better, and then only now when I do my monthly reread of it do I notice how badly written it really is. Still, it was written in a different time, and it doesn’t change that it was considered a masterpiece in its day. It really helped me get into reading.

8. Do you have any funny stories involving books from your childhood? Please share!
Oh boy, do I? No.

9. What is the thinnest book on your shelf?
*gets up to check*
That would be, The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories by Tim Burton. Yes, that Tim Burton. It’s a marvellous book.
*gets back up to go and put the book back on the shelf. Sits back down at desk*

10. What is the thickest book on your shelf?
Oh FFS. *gets back up to check*
That would be a paperback edition of A Clash of Kings by George RR Martin. It’s from a little known series called A Song of Ice and Fire. They are nice, easy reads. You should give them a go.

11. Do you write as well as read? Do you see yourself in the future as being an author?
I see myself as being an author now. Granted an unpublished author. Which, is sort of the opposite of the definition of being an author. But, ya know, whatever, you’re not a published author, so there! You smell.

Only about half a dozen people have actually read anything I have written. I like writing but I just don’t feel I’m particularly good. I have very high standards that I set for myself and so I don’t really share my writing with others at all.

12. When did you get into reading?
Hmm, I’m not entirely sure. I would read a lot as a child. I loved Roald Dahl stories as a kid. And I used to write a lot of my own little stories. I remember reading all the stories from the school library and then a teacher of mine would bring in new books for me to read. So I guess I have always been into reading in one way or another.

13. What is your favorite classic book?
I don’t really read that many classics. I would probably have to say The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, or, The King in Yellow.

14. In school what was your best subject?
How is this about books? Am I supposed to say ‘English Literature’? It feels like a loaded question. Is that the correct answer? Do I get points for answering with that?

Math(s).

I actually failed English Lit. It was all Shakespeare. Romeo and Juliet. I’m going to say something very controversial here, but Shakespeare… get ready… is shit.

dwi

15. If you were given a book as a present that you had read before and hated…what would you do?
Without hesitation I would throw it back in their face and scream “https : / / w w w dot goodreads dot com / ItsCJStark. With just a little bit of thought and research you could have checked if I had already read this, and you would have seen that I hated it why have you given me this abomination you fucking moron?!”

I rarely get gifts from people. I genuinely can’t remember the last time someone gave me a gift. I couldn’t possibly think why that is.

16. What is a lesser known series that you know of that is similar to Harry Potter or the Hunger Games?
Yea… No.

17. What is a bad habit you always do (besides rambling) while filming?
I always ejaculate too soon. The Director always gets so mad and I end up without work for months. Haha, I never learn.

18. What is your favorite word?
Cattywampus. It is used to describe something as being slightly off centre from being directly opposite something else. Such as, the lamppost is cattywampus to my front door. I shit you not.

19. Are you a nerd, dork, or dweeb? Or all of the above?
I am 31. I am too old and out of touch with the yung’uns to know the difference. IN MY DAY we were all just nerds. Never did me any harm.

20. Vampires or Fairies? Why?
Fairies. Obvs. Fairies are much more devious and interesting as characters.

21. Shapeshifters or Angels? Why?
Shapeshifters. We all know why. Boobs.

22. Spirits or Werewolves? Why?
I like both. If I had to choose one, I’d go with werewolves. Because… Skyrim.

23. Zombies or Vampires?
YAWN. aihbdslhbidsablkhadskhbadsblkhadslbdsalkbads Oh wow, sorry I fell asleep on my keyboard there. They are both boring as hell.

24. Love Triangle or Forbidden Love?
I feel this question has been written specifically for me! (Do you see what I did there, I made a funny because I am an aromantic asexual and just don’t give a shit about either).

Option C please Dave, ‘To have my eyeballs burnt out with hot poker sticks’.

25. AND FINALLY: Full on romance books or action-packed with a few love scenes mixed in?
I feel like you haven’t really listened to the answer I gave above. Rude. I’m not really into action, so I guess I would have to go with very detailed, explicit, kinky sex right from page 1 to page 410.

Tada. *jazz hands* That’s it. I answered the questions. I aint tagging anyone because I always find it a bit weird to tag people. I love being tagged, but I don’t really know anyone well enough to tag people back. Its like, if I tag people, I just imagine them seeing it and thinking “Who the fuck is this weirdo tagging me in his post.” But if you like this, go ahead and do it yourself. Break the rules! You rebel, you.

Come and chat with me about nonsense on the twitter dot com. I know I am a man online, but I promise you, I don’t want to have sex with you, and therefore my actions are not those of someone trying to groom his way into your pants. Although, I think I would look fabulous in your pants. Just sayin’. It’s the beard – it gives me 10+ handsome points. If you want to buy me a book as a gift, do some fucking research first and check out what I have read and liked/disliked on the Goodreads dot com.

Until next time,
Peace and Love!

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